Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
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